My roommate recently was in bed with a young coed here at a certain University in Bloomington. So apparently the action was heating up, and as he was heading for home he stopped downstairs for a prophylactic while she remained upstairs. Once things ensued, she claimed that his pre-ejaculate was exiting out "of the side of his penis", rather "than the tip". He assured her that this was not possible, for the male anatomy doesn't work this way. She was so weirded out by the whole scene that she put her clothes on and walking out the door.
Its funny how easy we forget the high comedy of the infamous video we were forced to watch around 4th or 5th grade. I'm sure I don't speak for myself in saying that in humor for age, that is still the funniest thing that I have ever seen I have ever seen in my life. I vaugely remember how serious the instructors were in saying that if we laughed we were to be kicked out and suspended. I vaguely remember sitting in the vacant art class where the girls sat separte in the music room next to us. Those things might have been a bit unclear, but I will never forget the sight of forty or so fourth-graders sitting around a room holding in the most helacious laughter they have ever felt in their lifetime. I will also never, ever forget the images on the screen and how hilarious the Scientific process of the human body was. I mean, could you imagine being ten and hearing mysterious lore about the suposed "puhgina", then having it all materialize infront of your face with you and your childhood buddies. Pre-tay, pre-tay, pre-tay HILARIOUS. Oh to be ten again.
But going back to the point, I can't believe sed coed forgot the FREAKING VIDEO!!! I mean it was like the first time you watch Schinder's List, but in a less tragic way. There are certain checkpoints along the road of life that you will always remember. Your memories always end up looking like the drive-by horizon of rolling hills: some bigger than others, but still gone too fast, and each one lingering on to the next.
I mean my life can be summed up by these:
(Imagine in Power Point)
- First Nintendo (Totally Sweet!)
- Parents Divorce
- SEXUAL EDUCATION
- Mom Remarries
- First Kiss
- First Drink
- Senior Spring Break
- First Day of College
- (Sorry, drew a blank from there...)
ps: Come On! The side of his shlaung!!! This girl must really have wanted to go home, because no one in their right minds can actually believe that. Get out of here!!! That is the most George Costanza excuse ever laced on the planet.
No comments:
Post a Comment