Sometimes Comedy Has a Downside

Imagine the most horrible thing in the world to be? Can you think of it? For me, short of being poor and a mexican-american, I would have to say that the worst person to be in the world would have to be the illegitimate child of a infamous professional athelete impregnator.

After reading tons of blogs and laughing hysterically when I see espn.com release a story about one of these guys having to pay child support in another city in upstate New York, Gary, Ind. or Florida, I can't help but feel sorry for the kids that are the brunt of this cyber-aggression. You see, illegit children are 95% of the time starting off in a bad homelife and 99% begining life with no positive male role models (1% case being in instances like from Chappelle's Show, when BuckNasty at the Player Haters Ball is said to have "tricked the husband into raising the mothafucka").

It's hard for me to make light of all of this, but you can't ignore that some of the jokes out there are pretty good. To hear that Denver Bronco's running back Travis Henry has fathered 9 different children in 9 different cities makes me feel like he is almost trying to go out and field a baseball team (If he could just get back to Topeka--surely he's got the stuff to push out a couple of twin hurlers for some much needed bullpen relief). Forget about the athletes, the kids are being objectified as mere one night stands by rich black men and skanky females looking for their cut. Fucking groupies, man.

Could you imagine one of these guys kids logging onto kissingsuzy and reading about himself via blog comment? Could you imagine Shawn Kemp reading? Oh, the HUMANITY, man!!! Jesus, the first time one of those kids understands one of sed jokes, it will crush them. Sad, sad stuff. But its just the nature of the beast. It becomes funnier and funnier every time something like that happens because you just know that in anywhere from six months to three years you are going to hear the likes of Chris Weber and Jose Canseco(Trust Me) having to pay another installment of child support to another kid.

Epilogue: I have always said one of Shawn Kemp's spawns would make it into college basketball. We are still probably a few years down the way, but if Anthony Mason's one-handed free throw shootin', domepiece nickname shavin' ass can begat someone as good as his son is at St. John's, Kemp should at least have the entire Dick Vitale preseason second-team diaper-dandies at this point. I mean come on, Bro--Your shits weak!!!